Fool Proof Fat loss… – Assert Fitness | Northumberland Fitness | Nutrition coaching | Group Training | Personal Training

Fool Proof Fat loss…

Fool proof fat loss

Lets Face it, What you think is the problem most often isn’t.

Getting in shape isn’t that you don’t know what to eat.

I am pretty sure that you know an apple is better than a chocolate bar, that you should drink lots of water, that you should eat lots of vegetables, that you should minimise sugar intake and that protein is good for you, then you know what you need to know.

It’s not about an exercise program either.

The internet is chock full of em. Whilst some are much better than others, doing a half decent program consistently will at least get you started!

It’s not about finding time to get to a gym either

Everyone has the same 24 hours.

The problem is how you are willing to apportion your time and what your willing and not willing to prioritise and sacrifice.

So why are most people out of shape and overweight?

the problem lies in having the inspiration to keep going.

Note I don’t say ‘willpower’.

Will power means something completely different

Will power is taking a strong stance and resisting something long enough for it to go away.

How often has that worked for you?

I mean how mad is that when you think about it?

That approach to your health will NEVER work because it programs you to see healthy action steps as something you HAVE to do.

Nobody likes being told what to do and when you’re down on energy and stressed out, you suddenly realise that you actually have a choice whether to ‘force yourself’ to go to the gym, see your personal trainer or eat a salad, and you’ll choose not to.

What’s needed is a deeper inspiration.

Finding out your why. If you know why you have to change your eating habits, why you should exercise then you will be inspired to keep going to accomplish the goal you want.

I don’t know what that is for you though, that’s for you to find out.

It’s not that hard to figure out though. Take a bit of time to realise what means the most to you in your life.

Maybe kids.

Maybe your career.

Maybe completing challenges to make you feel alive.

Maybe Experiencing Life to the Full.

Maybe getting more sex.

Then decide whether being overweight and unhealthy stops you enjoying that to the level you want.

The odds are it will, so you have a reason to get moving otherwise you can never live the life you want.

It doesn’t get any bigger than that!


Once you discover that why, you will then discover all the reasons, excuses and stories you tell yourself why you shouldn’t.

How many times have you been there before?

We are the only species in the planet who thinks about the future. When our brain cannot predict the future it feels threatened and so we worry and feel anxious.

This is what prevents people from moving forwards. The stories they tell themselves and choose to believe based on past experiences.

Notice how I said CHOOSE.

And notice how both of these things exist either in the past or the future. NOT the present

The truth is that the only thing that can stress us out are our own stories that we have chosen to be a fact in our world…

“I’m going to be the odd one out and not part of the team”

“I will have to lose weight before I go to the gym so I won’t be the odd one out”

“If I don’t drink with my mates this weekend, I’ll lose my circle of friends and become lonely.”

“If I go to the gym everyone will be looking at me, I’ll be embarrassed and be socially rejected.”

“If I don’t eat sugar, I’ll get headaches and not be able to work and my manager will be annoyed”


I draw on the amazing work of Byron Katie for the next bit.

GET THE BOOK – Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

Byron says we can eliminate most worry and stress by asking the following four questions enough times as an inquiry into the ‘truth’ that we see.

1) Is the story I’m telling true?

2) Is it absolutely true without a shadow of a doubt? Can I prove it?

3) Who am I without this thought?

4) Can I turn this around on myself and REALLY see the truth and how I can move forward?


Here’s an example….

“I can’t join a gym because everyone will expect me to be fit and be able to do what they can do and they’ll make me feel inadequate. People in gyms should let me get on with my own thing and not pressure everyone to be lean and muscly.”

1) So is this true?

Do you know that if you go and join any gym that this will happen and they will sit you down and say “You can only train here if you can do 100 push ups and run 10km in 40 minutes. If not we’re going to tell you off and make you look stupid.”

Hmmmm…. I’ve never heard that in a gym. And if there is a gym who says that, it is certainly a minority

Will a coach suggest what you might be capable of? Certainly.

Expectation and judgement? Nope.


2) You’ve made a statement you believe so I’ll give you a chance and we’ll keep playing the game…

Give me some proof of the truth about the statement that is causing you stress and anxiety or at least leading to it because you’re still feeling overweight and tired.

Hard to do isn’t? Impossible?

Maybe you came up with another ‘possible maybe’.

“But I heard about this one time…”

Well I’m sorry someone you know had that experience. Maybe it was you years ago.

I get that. It must have been hard.

But you didn’t prove that ALL gyms will make you feel like that so you can’t go!

Let’s take it further so you can see reasons to drop the thought that’s messing you up.

3) Who would you be without the thought “I can’t join a gym because everyone will expect me to be fit and be able to do what they can do and they’ll make me feel inadequate…”

Maybe you would feel sudden freedom to take the first step like when your car finally starts!

Maybe you be excited about getting in shape and fitting into nice clothes.

Maybe you get fired up about doing that 5k run your friends do ever year.

All because you just saw who you would be without YOUR  thought!

No hardcore action or life altering decisions required!

But there’s more to really help remove the barrier.

I love this bit – it makes me feel stupid sometimes and I’m glad nobody outside of my head knows I made my initial statement!

4) What happens if you turn your statement around so the focus is on YOU not the gym or the people in it?

“I can’t join a gym because I expect me to be fit and to be able to do what other people can do and I’ll make myself feel inadequate”


How could you be that horrible to yourself?!

Why are you expecting so much?

How can you expect to be fit when you haven’t done anything for 20 years?

Why don’t you just go do some exercise free of expectation of achieving superhero status in 5 minutes?

The gym isn’t a test and you don’t have to compare yourself – you’re not going in the Olympics.

(If you WANT to you can of course!)

See how the restrictive thought you are putting on your life is purely down to YOUR story?

You wrote the story and you can stop reading it if you want to.

No expectation. No deadline. No requirement to be anybody but the guy who goes to the gym three times a week.

Now as a Fitness Coach I can obviously tell you that there are productive and unproductive things to do in a gym.

But in answer to your statement as the block between you and getting in shape for what inspires you in life, you are now the person that can go join a gym free of your own myth.

Be the dude who just goes and runs on the treadmill for as long as feels right.

Go be the girl at the back of the class who rests a few times but stays to the end and feels ELATED that you’ve done your first class.

Be the one who is able to turn the page and start writing a new reality.

Stories get boring and lose meaning when you read the same one over and over.

It can be as simple as finding the reason to shut the book.

When you can start walking the path you want to walk free of stories about the ghosts and ghouls that will jump out on you along the way, it’s hard not to be happy because you have no stress about what ‘should’ be so nothing let’s you down.

Every ‘should’ you voice is based on a story you’ve let yourself be told and when it doesn’t go that way, you panic and it’s stressful because now life’s screwing with you and making your days hard.

Try forming every stress you have about a situation or person into a statement about ‘how it is’ then put it up against those four questions.

1) Is it true?

2) Is it ABSOLUTELY true?

3) Who are you without that thought?

4) What truth appears when you turn it around?

You may have to do it multiple times until you get to a point where you realise that your stress is just a story and there’s nothing left to worry about.

Every stress is yours to claim as your own because you’re making someone else’s business yours; interpreting their actions as having meaning for who you are and what you can do.

Sometimes this stuff works the instant you do it. Sometimes the stories will keep coming back.

Stay strong and keep going – you’ll love what you find about yourself….

I’ll leave you with a story…

Many years ago, a man was traveling across the country by sneaking from one freight train to the next. One night he climbed into what he thought was a boxcar. He closed the door, which automatically locked shut and trapped him inside.

When his eyes adjusted to the light, he realized he was inside a refrigerated boxcar, and he became aware of the intense, freezing cold. He called for help and pounded on the door, but all the noise he made from the inside the car failed to attract anyone’s attention.

After many hours of struggle, he lay down on the floor of the railroad car.

As he tried to fight against the freezing cold, he scratched a message on the floor explaining his unfortunate, imminent death.

Late the next day, repairmen from the railroad opened the door and found the dead man inside. Though the man had all the appearance of having frozen to death, the truth was the repairmen had come to fix the broken refrigerator unit in that car.

Most likely the temperature of the railroad car had never fallen below fifty degrees during the night. The man had died because he thought he was freezing to death.





Dean x

If you are struggling with what you should be doing to look leaner, fitter and stronger. Maybe you are sick of the reflection staring back at you in the mirror or just want to feel sexy again, then click the button below to get in touch with us for a free discovery call to see how best we can help you…

Book a Discovery Call

    Dean Coulson